What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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