dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
