u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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