i need an iv and a liver transplant
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
