I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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