Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
