what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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