How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
