I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
