Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
