hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
