dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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