My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize