I have demons in me.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
