Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
