theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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