Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize