I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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