You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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