I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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