on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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