We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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