i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
