How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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