You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
