She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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