You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
