you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
