I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
