Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
