Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize