I cockslap morals
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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