Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
