You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
