My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
