we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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