I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
