oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
