Buhtt sex?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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