i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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