Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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