Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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