Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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