i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize