i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
