doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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