There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize