I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It's like God shit irony all over that family
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
