I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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