He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
