I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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