One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
