I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
