Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
