i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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