Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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