Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
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