but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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