I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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