She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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