party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just pee around me
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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