oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
