Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.